Ask Julia: Telepathic Protection

By Julia Crumpleman

Today’s question comes from Brandon:

Dear Julia, I keep seeing these flyers for “telepathic protection classes.”  Are these worth the money, or are they just scams?

Good question, Brandon!  Telepathy is a tricky subject to tackle, even for superheroes.  U.N. estimates there are about 200 telepaths in the world, maybe more, making up a very small portion of the world’s population.  The majority of these people are low-level telepaths with limited range and power.  The big guns, like Professor Quinton, are rare and usually have other things on their mind, so to speak.  Being caught in a psychic attack of any sort is a super rare occurrence even by superhero standards.

But protecting yourself isn’t a bad idea, either.  These telepathic protection classes promise to “keep your mind safe and clear from any intruders,” but the American Psychology Association has raised serious doubts about their practices.  Namely, how do you know if the instructor can be trusted?  Who says that eloquent, bald man isn’t poking around in your head for juicy tidbits while proclaiming to set up mental barriers?  And it’s not like you can test out your new mental barriers to know if they work until someone actually tries to read your mind.  By then it could be too late.  Still, the APA is constantly evaluating these classes and their methods, so be sure to check out their website for more information.

If you’re still worried about possibly psychic attacks, then you may want to look into technological barriers.  Telepathy blockers are being introduced into the market, and they look just like Bluetooth headsets.  Just hook one to your ear, and it provides mental protection (according to the manufacturers of course).  There are even larger models that you can set up at home much like a home security system.  They’re based on models used for military and government facilities, so they should provide some protection for you at home.

Happy thoughts, Brandon!

Muskrat Reopens the Quinton School for Young Superheroes

By Buffy Bolivar

File photo

The infamous Quinton School for Young Superheroes is reopening tomorrow just outside of Carterson after being blown up in a tremendous superhuman battle seven years ago.  But this time, the Headmaster is the Muskrat.

“People keep asking me if this is real,” the Muskrat said, “and yes, it is.  I know folks don’t think of me as a teacher, but the world needs a place like this for youngsters to go to learn how to be superheroes.  So I just dove in headfirst.”

The Muskrat, whose real name is unknown, was hardly the first person to think of reopening the school.  Former student, Jed Lankins, a.k.a. Red Eye, tried to reopen it four years ago but ran into legal troubles with the original headmaster Professor George Quinton.  They reportedly had a falling-out, and Quinton refused Lankins’s request.  But the Muskrat was able to convince Quinton to let him reopen the school, and after a few months of construction, it is starting classes tomorrow.

The campus has been a mess ever since it blew up due to the Mon-Star crash landing in the courtyard from space.  He eventually was beaten by Lankins, the Muskrat, and the rest of the students, but not before claiming several casualties.  This was the fourteenth time the campus had been destroyed in some manner in the school’s storied history.

The Muskrat believes that this time the school can survive without being blown up.  “It’s going to be tough, sure,” he said.  “But I’m going to learn from the past and upgrade some things that were horribly wide open to destruction.  The main thing is having a safe place for kids to learn how to use their powers.”

As for how he plans on fitting in his Headmaster duties with his time in the Peace Force, the ATOM Squad, and all of his personal missions, the Muskrat said, “I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember.  I think I can fit it in just fine.”