Lifeform Gestates in Glowing Russian Asteroid

By Skip Daverman

MOSCOW – Russian officials have confirmed suspicions:  there is a lifeform inside the giant glowing asteroid.

The asteroid has been cordoned off from the public since its arrival outside of Moscow, glowing and growing.  Russian superhero, Ural, and a team of scientists have monitored it since, but as it has continued to grow (now over 1,000 feet in diameter), an image of a lifeform can be seen inside it.  Amateur photos have been circulating the internet for the past few days, and the Kremlin could no longer keep it under wraps.

“Yes, there appears to be something gestating inside,” said spokesperson Piotr Markov.  “We do not know what it is or whether it is dangerous.  We have work to do.”

No indication has been given as to what sort of creature is inside, but security has been heightened due to the leaks.  The reports of strange outer space dreams have decreased amongst the locals, but rumors have surfaced that many of the scientists studying the asteroid haven’t been sleeping well.

“Please,” Markov said, visibly frustrated by the questions, “we have been working very hard to keep everyone safe.  So yes, we are tired.  But to speak of outer space dreams of alien worlds and cosmic energies is ridiculous.”

Asteroid Glows and Grows

By Skip Daverman

MOSCOW – The asteroid that landed outside of Moscow is still glowing, and now it’s growing.

Russian superhero, Ural, and a team of scientists have kept watch of the asteroid since yesterday.  They were measuring a constant heat signature emanating from within the rock when they noticed that it was getting bigger.  The scientists have not been allowed to comment, but Ural said, “It has grown nearly 200 meters overnight.  A remarkable, and unsettling, growth has occurred.”

Authorities have been spending the majority of their time keeping the curious away from the scene, which is difficult to do considering the size of the asteroid.  Crowds have gathered on hilltops with telescopes to see the rock for themselves.  The glow was even enough to light up the night sky.  Some residents reported strange dreams of outer space, saying they’ve seen star systems not visible from Earth.

Scientists have been unable to determine the source of the heat signature or the growth or whether they have any relation to the dreams.  So far, they’ve only ruled out nuclear radiation as a possible cause, but they are proceeding with caution in case other types of radiation are involved.

Giant Glowing Asteroid Lands Safely In Russia

By Skip Daverman

MOSCOW – A giant asteroid landed safely 30 miles outside of Moscow today thanks to the efforts of Russian superhero, Ural.

The asteroid, estimated at least a mile in diameter, was headed towards the heart of Russia today.  Ural flew into space to try and divert the rock but was unable to do so.  He was able to slow the rock’s speed enough to land it safely on the ground with a minimal crater.  Russian authorities rushed to the scene as the asteroid’s outer shell began to crack.  And then it glowed.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Ural.  “Asteroids don’t glow like this.  At first I thought it was just the heat from flying through the atmosphere, but it’s been an hour.  The rock is cooled.  This cannot be good.”

Russian authorities cleared the area as best as possible while Ural and a team of scientists monitored the asteroid.  One scientist expected a long night.