By Chase Chapley
 |
| Speedster |
Speedster is back in town, and citizens are bracing for a
reckless time. The Fastest Woman in the
Galaxy has a history of reckless behavior while visiting New Romford. Last year, she was responsible for a 300-car
pileup on interstate highways 88 and 188 while chasing The Dinosaur Queen.
But it’s the little things that cause New Romforders to
squirm. “She’s just so fast that I don’t
think she knows where she’s going half the time,” said Sussex resident Joanna
Hull. “She zipped right down my street
and knocked off the side mirror off my car.
Didn’t even blink. She just kept
on going.”
Frenchtown resident, Marlin Byrd, had a similar encounter
three years ago. “I was mowing my lawn
when she ran across,” he said. “She ran
so fast, she dug her feet into my front yard.
There were these huge divots in there, nearly a foot deep. She just ruined my front yard without even
thinking about it.”
While Speedster is a headache for some, she still has
plenty of fans in New Romford. Zack
Holmes heads the local Speedster fan club and always sees a spike in excitement
when she pops up. “Sure, she gets a
little reckless at times,” he said, “but we’re seeing one of the all-time
greats here. We have Adonis and the
Amazings here everyday, but none of them are like Speedster. She’s done so many awesome things that defy
the laws of physics. It’s truly
remarkable!”
Regardless of who you ask, one thing is unanimous: make sure you’re current on your insurance.
