By Muffy Borgeron
Gil Heredia, the ATOM Labs maintenance worker who fellinto a vat of chemicals a couple weeks ago, is still recovering from his burns
and, strangely, still hasn’t gained superpowers.
“Gil’s still in a medically-induced coma,” said ATOM Labs
scientist, Carlos Montero, “and we’re doing our best to heal his burns, but now
he has internal damage to his organs.
That chemical vat was a toxic brew, and frankly, everyone here is just
surprised he hasn’t grown fur or bat wings.”
“At the very least, he should’ve grown a third eye by
now.”
Heredia’s family is remaining quiet as they hope he
recovers from his wounds. Matt Laredo,
the family spokesman, has requested privacy through this trying time. “The Heredias understand the intrigue
surrounding their husband and father of two.
Right now, the family asks for your prayers and hopes everyone can learn
a valuable lesson that chemicals are not a reliable source of superpowers.”
Indeed, the city seems to be rocked by the news of
Heredia’s fate. Sales of gas masks and
hazmat suits have tripled in the past weeks, and traffic around ATOM Labs and
other chemical plants has dipped substantially.
“It’s like people just realized this stuff was dangerous,” said
Heredia’s manager, Lauren Paladio. “I
wouldn’t say people were jumping into chemicals before this, but I think people
were less cautious because they thought, ‘Hey, if I get sprayed by chemicals
from a truck accident, then at least I’ll get something cool out of it.’ Poor Gil, he’s just a normal man. Hopefully, this will be a teachable moment
for people.”
“Even still, maybe he’ll wake up and have telekinesis or
something.”
